Pinterest can kiss my ass. I mean, I like it. I swear I do. I'm not on there every day, but it does help me keep track of things I find online and want to remember to daydream about buying. But in all honesty, is it really HELPING me in any way? Have I ever made a cupcake pyramid in the shape of the Magic Kingdom using only gluten free ingredients and locally sourced non-gmo bamboo toothpicks? Hells no. I can't even remember to BUY cupcakes on the unusual days that I actual attempt to leave the house to procure food for my family. I'm lucky if everyone makes it into the car, into the store and back home again. The other day, we actually left the baby in the dining room. Strapped in her car seat. And almost drove away. So forgive me if the thought of making homemade tampons from organic hemp fiber seems like a bit of a stretch.
I see what other people pin on there. Great outfits. Beautiful kitchens. Hilarious musings from the Dalai Lama, set against a picture of a mountain. It all seems very worthwhile, and I know I SHOULD care. I should care that I've been wearing the same outfit for three days, or that there is a dried chunk of spit up in my hair, or that I just got out the giant Dyson and dragged it the entire way across the house to suck up a microscopic ant. But I don't. I just don't. I will never "be so happy that I pinned this" illustrated eleven step guide to how to lance a boil. I will never rip the bumper off an old Volvo to make a head board that doubles as an herb garden.
I'll tell you what I WILL do- I will wake up tomorrow, microwave my kid a frozen pancake, play Candy Crush while I'm brushing my teeth, make the dog pee in the landscaping because the baby is already screaming and we haven't even walked out yet, make some Easy Mac, hand my kid a sharpie and 3/4 of a piece of computer paper, pretend I don't notice the empty juice box under the couch, use the pool skimmer to swat at a mosquito, buy a rotisserie chicken and pretend I cooked, spray lysol all over the diaper pail until I choke from the fumes, throw my dirty clothes onto the recliner next to the bed, and finally- wake up at 1:30 am realizing that my contacts are still in. Is there a pin for that???
On a related note, there is a Pinterest board for this blog! How deliciously ironic. Wouldn't you love to see it???? http://pinterest.com/maryellenhealy/thesnarkside-blogspot-com-humor/
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