1. Sure, the ticket only cost $22. But the requisite t-shirt is $49 and a button the size of a dinner plate is $16.99. By the time you pay for all of the extra crap, you're a grand in the hole before the thing even starts.
2. If Bobby Brown is hanging around, something has gone terribly awry.
3. Your shoes stick to the floor. With. Every. Step. Likely a mixture of adolescent tears and Sunny D.
4. You find a soggy cheerio in your bra. Wait, that's just parenthood.
5. The shrieking. Oh god, the shrieking.
6. There's a fiery redhead in leather chaps who seems to be hanging around an awful lot- here's hoping it's just Tiffany.
7. The youngest one is the cutest. It's OK to admit it.
8. What is that on the floor of the bathroom? Phlegm? Wet paper towel? GoGurt?
9. There is just so much crying. Is it happy crying? Is it sad crying? It's pointless to try to figure it out- just ignore it.
10. "Step by step, ooh baby, gonna get to you girl." Yep, you're getting to me all right.
11. At the end of the night, you stumble to bed bewildered, ears ringing, reeking of Electric Youth. Best day ever.
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