Monday, April 22, 2013

Post Partum Post

This blog almost, and I mean ALMOST, died.  I almost decided to chuck it out- but then I decided that would be like throwing the baby out with the bath water.  Seeing as how I have no idea what that expression means, and it sounds terrible, I decided not to do it.

So here I am- back from the birth-giving dead.  I did it- I gave birth.  I survived.  And then I got really sick, didn't eat for three days, had to go to the ER and get prescriptions for Zofran and Ibuprofens the size of nuclear submarines.  I was told that my blood pressure was too high 9,546 times, which subsequently raised my blood pressure by at least 100 points.  But all in all, it was a pretty painless experience.

HAHAHAHA, no it was not.  Not at all.  In fact, it was the most pain I have ever experienced.  I am not going to go into gory details, since some of you are men and therefore incapable of handling it.  But let's just say that my water broke on Sunday morning, I was on Pitocin without an epidural for 12 hours, my epidural wore off after 4 hours, my epidural was "topped off" and then I fainted when I realized I couldn't feel my legs.

Who has two thumbs and faints while already lying down?  This girl.

But, a very short (and by short I mean excruciatingly long) 24 hours after my water broke, I managed to give birth to a tiny human.  She's pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself.  I may even get my act together enough to post a picture at some point.  It's been a week, so you know I've taken 65,473 pictures already.

Hopefully, I will find the motivation to start posting again, now that I have nothing to do.  I just have to take care of an infant, a three year old, buy a house in Florida that I've never seen in a city I've never visited, pack our current house, move temporarily to South Carolina, and then move to Florida- all in the next 90 days.  So not much going on here at all. *sobs silently into pillow*

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