Amanda Knox- aka Foxy Knoxy- has been all over the news lately. I find her to be a very interesting character, not so much because of the murder, but because she basically admits to being a whorish pot head, and I find that refreshing. In reality, I think she's probably much more like the average American college kid studying abroad- minus the whole "getting charged with the gruesome orgy-murder of your roommate" angle. Thankfully, that doesn't happen very often.
The scientific survey I just conducted in my own mind says that at least 87% of college students sign up to go abroad purely to drink underage. It's just science, and you can't argue with science. If you think your 19 year old son wants to go to Amsterdam because he really loves windmills and wooden shoes, let me enlighten you- he likes smoking pot while sitting under windmills eating BBQ Lays, and he's fine with wooden shoes as long as a naked hooker is wearing them. But hey, this study abroad program is approved by BU!
Seriously though, your pot smoking, hooker loving son is actually pretty likable and cool. Why do you want to send him to Europe? Even Foxy Knoxy seems pretty likable, assuming she isn't actually an orgy murderer. You know who's NOT very likable? A psychotic three year old. That's what I have on my hands right now.
Which leads me to my brilliant proposal: SEMESTER ABROAD FOR THREE YEAR OLDS. Why send the cool, older kids away? Let's send the rabid, seething, hair pulling, completely mental three year old to Europe for a few months. This is the worst year of childhood, right? That's what everyone keeps telling me. So let's just skip it! I think Meredith would be much better off with a family in Barcelona who is always half drunk on red wine and who doesn't speak any English. I'm sure that they probably even let three year olds actually drink red wine there too, which would really help. Plus, she might even come back with a really great paella recipe. Isn't that motivation enough???
The person who invented the phrase "terrible twos" was basically a moron, as far as I'm concerned. Or their kid wasn't three yet. We are still a month out from Meredith's third birthday, and I can already tell that this upcoming year is going to be MADDENING. She threw a tantrum in her carseat today, because she asked me why there were cars on a big truck. I told her that they were new cars, headed for the car store to be sold. "BUT I WANT OLD CARS!!!!!!!!!!! ONLY OLD CARS!!!!!!!!!!! NOT NEW CARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and started smacking the window and foaming at the mouth.
Hmm, I wonder how much airfare is to Barcelona is these days...
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