Gone Squatchin

As any new parent of an infant will tell you, there is nothing more horrifying/glorious than the first time your kid sleeps for way longer than you were expecting.  You go to bed, ready to drag yourself back to consciousness in two or three hours.  But then something odd happens.  You wake up, spend three minutes trying to read the clock before you remember that you wear glasses and can't see the broad side of a barn without them- and then you have a moment.  You realize that the clock says 4:30.  Is it 4:30 pm?  Why is it so dark?  Is this the apocalypse?  Are their zombies?  Is this some kind of worldwide blackout that will cause us to form a new world order and fight each other with bayonets?  No, no.  Okay, it's 4:30 AM.  Wait, WHAT????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????  It's 4:30 AM???????  But I went to sleep at 10:30 PM!!!!!!!!!!!!  This can't be.  This simply cannot be!  OH MY GOD, MY BABY WAS KIDNAPPED/IS DEAD/WAS ACCIDENTALLY LEFT IN THE CAR.  Ok, now wait, it looks like the baby is right there in the bassinet.  Ok, well she can't be breathing.  Well actually, she does appear to be breathing.  Maybe someone else fed her?  Proceed to wake up everyone else in your house to confirm that no one else fed her.  Ok, no one did?  SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS BABY JUST SLEPT FOR SIX HOURS IN A ROW???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????? (this needs to be screamed loudly enough to wake the baby, by the way.)

Yes, it's true.  An infant just slept for 6 hours in a row.  During the actual night time.  Without being held.  While you yourself were also asleep.  This, my friends, is the ninth wonder of the world.  I don't know how many actual wonders of the world there are, but let's just call this the ninth.  It's like finding a yeti in your garage.  Or finding a baby Loch Ness Monster in your kiddie pool.  It's maybe even better than hitting a chupacabra with your Miata.  This is the brass ring- your One Shining Moment.  Life will never get more magical, so drink it in.  Celebrate you will, cause life is short but sweet for certain.

Plus, tomorrow you'll find dried poop on your elbow and you'll be right back in the trenches.