"I learned it by watching YOU!"

There are times in parenting when you realize that YOU made the situation much worse than it needed to be, and for no particular reason.  For most people, this probably happens every once in a while.  If you’re me, you do this three to five times a day, every day.  Usually, this takes the form of stubbing my toe and yelling “SHIT!!” and then proceeding to say “Don’t say shit.  Just because Mommy said shit, you shouldn’t say it.  Shit is a bad word.”  Which is usually met with “OK Mommy, I won’t say shit.”  There, problem solved! 

Last Friday, M was saying something quietly over and over again in her car seat.  I kept asking her to repeat herself, because I couldn’t understand what she was saying.  Finally, I turned around and said, “Can you yell what you’re trying to say?  Mommy can’t hear you.”  OF COURSE, I was met with this:

“WHAT THE HELL, MOMMY???”

Tim shot me the “please say I heard that wrong” look.  I shot him the “bite me, you know what you heard” look.  And to add insult to injury, I made her repeat it several more times.  I mean, what if it was just loud in the car?  What if she was really trying to say something else?  Maybe it was “I just fell, Mommy” or “What’s that smell, Mommy?”  But no, it wasn’t either of those things.  By the time we got off the highway, there was a steady stream of “What the hell, Mommies” coming from the back seat. You know, just to rub some salt in the parenting wounds.

(Imagine my horror less than 24 hours later to hear my beloved child yelling, “Mommy, I don’t like Jews!” from the dining room table.  I was relieved to discover that she does indeed like Jews- just not orange Jews. Phew, I KNEW I was a good Mom!)

Someday, (probably within the week) she will yell “What the hell!” at some poor kid at the playground, and I’ll have to act all shocked.  I’ll waddle over and exclaim with horror, “Where did you learn to say that?” just loud enough to make sure it’s heard by any other parents in earshot. She’ll turn to me and say “You, alright?  I learned it by watching you!”  Damn you, 80s public service announcements.  You’re always right.

Just in case you're too old or too young to fully appreciate what I am referring to, PLEASE, take a moment out of your day to educate yourselves by watching this: The BEST PSA of all time.