Careful, Don't Choke on that Pyongyang!

I just saw this completely authentic and undoctored photo of Dear Leader Jr. and it got me thinking...

I wonder what other toys my kid loves that are really Weapons of Mass Destruction?  This particular toy, the Stomp Rocket, has yet to cause any permanent injury or breakage to anything in our house- and we've had it since Christmas.  No, you're not supposed to use it inside.  But do you know how cold it is out there?  I'd rather risk a scratched cornea than spend 25 minutes putting my kid into snow pants.  Unless Un has some kind of Nerf/Smallpox hybrid warhead on that thing, I don't think it's very dangerous.

But what toys HAVE injured my kid?  Maybe that's the question I should be asking.  

First of all, the plastic car.  You know, this thing.  



Turns out, if your push your tiny child really fast in it, they can fall out the bottom and the car can run them over, and you can accidentally step on their head.  No matter how fast they move their little Flinstone feet, they apparently can't keep up with a 31 year old woman running full speed and not looking.  Duly noted.

Second of all, THIS.




This is an actual photo of my child being fully burritoed by a playmat.  "What's the real danger here?" you ask?  Well, sometimes I get hungry, and I happen to love burritos.

And finally, this death contraption:



This has killed so many babies that it's been recalled once a week for each of the last 896 consecutive weeks.  Yes, when you put your baby in it on the stovetop while you're skillet-frying chicken, I can see the danger.  When you lash it to the back of your snowmobile, I can see how injuries can occur. But when used how I use it (in the middle of the table top in the dining hall) what could possibly go wrong???  No, I never left her unattended to visit the salad bar.  I made someone else's toddler keep an eye on her.  It's not like I'm irresponsible.  

In reality, I think Kim Jong Un is more likely to lose an eye to a Nerf Rocket than successfully launch any kind of weapon against the United States.  But knowing that he has a new baby? Now THAT I find terrifying.  Just when you think you put those nuclear launch codes high enough up so Dear Leader III can't reach them- that's when your toddler figures out how to stack a box on top of a chair and next thing you know... BAM.  Nuclear holocaust.  Happy Friday.