Miss Healy Goes to Bed- Eventually

Rand Paul's filibuster on the floor of the Senate yesterday was pretty epic, you have to admit.  Thirteen hours?  Impressive.  If you don't know what a filibuster is, google it.  I'm too lazy to explain it to you. But basically, it's all a part of the Washington bullshit machine we loathe/take so much pride in.  You know, democracy and all that.  Lately though, democracy in this country has become 100% mind-numbing and only slightly less whiny than Dora the Explorer.  "But HOW will we know which way to go?"  I don't know lady.  Grow a brain and figure it out for your own damn self.

I used to think that the only person who could talk so endlessly was my beloved husband, Tim.  For years at a time, he talked without stopping to breathe- in what I would call months-long filibusters.  He once told me that he refused to learn how to Scuba dive (my favorite activity) because there was no way he could go 40 minutes without talking.  We once drove from DC to Connecticut without turning on the radio because there was no break in the conversation.  As a rule, I would say that I listen to about 75% of what he has to say- and I think that's a good figure for a 10+ year relationship.  I would estimate that Senators probably listen to about one one-hundreth of a percent of what is said on the Senate floor- even when they themselves are talking.

In a rare piece of child to parent payback, Meredith successfully filibustered her own bedtime last night for 45 entire minutes.  She basically laid in bed and recanted every single event she could remember from birth to the present day, while Tim sat outside of her door in the dark and said, "Yep, yep, yep"over and over again, much like I do during one of his epic talkathons.  During this period, she apologized for basically everything she has ever done- like some sort of bizarre preschool confessional.  She requested that I come in her room so she could say "Good night Mommy, I'm sorry I threw a shoe at your head."  She apologized for dumping her crayons last week.  She told 500 different stories.  She suggested activities for today. "We could go to Target, and then we could go to Mommy's doctor and she can take her shoes off" was my favorite suggestion.  99% of the suggestions involved trips to Target.  Smart girl.

Unlike Rand Paul, she did this merely for her own entertainment.  As far as I know, Meredith is not overly concerned with the possible use of drone strikes on American citizens.  I'm pretty sure she doesn't give a crap about the CIA.  She's not going to suggest firebombing Jane Fonda.  (Though that is an interesting idea- you have to admit).  All she cares about is pushing her bedtime as late as possible to ensure that we have so little free time that we lose the will to live.  Wait a second, I'm pretty sure that's what Rand Paul was going for too.  Bastard.